New Camera

Christmas (and my birthday for the next 5 years) has come early to the Milles house.  This past week, my parents gave us an awesome Canon EOS Digital Rebel XS camera.  I'll tell you what....I need to add this camera to the forever growing list of things that are smarter than me.

I am planning on taking a class to learn how to operate this thing and to get the biggest bang for my buck.  The good news about this camera is that I also have a super nice Canon EOS film camera.  I have lots of lenses and whatnots for that camera & from my understanding those two cameras can share parts! That is fun!!!

Well, here are a few shot I took while fiddling with the different settings.

I used two of most favorite subjects to practice using this camera. 
I've learned a lot while shooting away at these lil' guys.

 I learned that sometimes your subject might be a tad bit blurry & in the dark.



And when your subject is screaming and your shutter time is too long...he'll be a fuzzy mess. 

Sometimes your subject is just gorgeous!

While at other times he rolls out of the shot!

Or manages to make a mess while you get distracted w/ the shiny buttons on the camera.

Typically your subject may have a sibling that is also a good person to shoot. 

Even if she insists on eatting odd things... 

Or sleeps on the job.

But occassionally...if you try hard enough, you may get some good shots...

even some w/out pants on!

Hopefully, in the next few months you'll notice some pretty awesome pictures of these kiddos and our crazy family happenings! :o)

guilty as charged

Okay...I am totally guilty of something awful. Something extremely, heinously awful.  I would say a crime against these two lil' boogers.

I mean, as a mother, I am supposed to wish the best for my children. I am supposed to want them to be perfect in every way possible.

But really, I don't.  Some of my kids' imperfections just tickles my fancy too much.  There is no way I am going to purposely guide them toward perfection when these little quirks are just so darn amusing.

Wanna know what I am talking about...well...it is all about some of the things Bethany says. 

Seriously, she cracks me up with some of her words. I decided to share with you some of my favorite Bethanisms that I just can't bare the thought to correct. (Of course, while I don't necessarily always correct her words...I always talk correctly around her and don't model incorrect English--well...I don't purposely model incorrect English, but I am not the one here who is a Comm. Arts teacher.)

My Favorite Bethanyisms:

-Strawberry: What she cause bruises, because her first major bruise that she was completely cognizant of was a few months back. It actually did look like a strawberry.  So now, she calls all bruises strawberries. Funny!

-To-mar-ner: Tomorrow.  She's always said it this way. I love it.  If it is just Cory and I around, we typically say to-mar-ner to each other. But we try to say it correctly around the Bee.

-Snoking: Smoking. Hehehehe! Snoking? Seriously?!? If you don't get how cute that is...just say it outloud. Then say something like, "Ew! He's Snoking. That's 'guisting!"  Really...now don't you get how cute that is?

-Snoothie: Smoothie. See above.  Something about that "Sn-" sound that I just get all giggly about.


-'Rupt: Interupt. As in, "Don't 'Rupt, Dad. I was talking to Mom."

-Yesterday: Any Day in the Past.  If you listen to her stories long enough, you'll hear all the things we did yesterday. You'll soon think that yesterday we were crazy, busy people being that you would've heard of like a million things that we did "yesterday" that range from: being sick, going to the zoo, having a birthday party, going to church, and being frustrated. 

So I totally know what she is talking about 99.9% of the time. But  there is the .1% of the time that I am a little puzzled and have to keep asking a million questions to understand what she is saying. (i.e. the first time she said 'rupt totally threw me).  I just wonder what all the other folks in Bethany's life think of when they hear her talk. Hopefully they find it is amusing as I. Or perhaps, it is only me that is an evil, mean mother that finds guilty pleasure in her lil' girl's mishaps!

guilt

Guilt...

What an awful feeling.  But it seems like guilt has taken up residence in my heart right now....

I feel guilty
----for leaving the kids with the sitters.
----that Owen spent all of yesterday crying (with only a few breaks).
----that I only have 2 to 3 hours with kids in the evenings until it is bedtime.
----for feeling like less of a mom because I am away from the babies during the day and then sometimes my mind is occupied with school-issues at night
----for being tired and less patient with people as I am being pulled in various directions
----for being less of a teacher than I could be if I more time and didn't have obligations at home.
----for not being able to spend as much time with the husband as I am torn between work, children and home responsibilities.
----for not taking better care of myself in terms of exercising and eating right.

----for missing moments like this just randomly throughout the day...

 
I know I just need to pray and ask God to help me deal with these guilty feelings. Hopefully, the guilt can be evicted permanently out of my heart...

How Many...

So I've been wondering these past couple of days---exactly how many times can my heart stop beating before it neglects to resume its life sustaining pace?

Seriously, this guys scares me to death. 

Of course, his appearances aren't hard on the eyes.  On the contrary, he is rather delicious looking. But what scares me is all of Owen's Toddlerness. Could the Boy NOT learn to walk before his surgery?  This sudden desire to walk now is enough to cause my heart to stop ten times a day. With over a hundred stitches in his head sealing his incision that goes from eat to ear...this is the best time he could think of to learn to walk? What is up with him?

Yesterday, he insisted on walking up the drive to the back of the garage...without holding hands...on concrete...without a protective bubble surrounding every square inch of him. What is he thinking?


Then, this kid has the audacity to walk beneath the kitchen table. Seriously!  Does he not realize that he could bump his head? Does he realize that every time he goes there,  I am pretty sure I am losing a year off my life. Goodness. He. Scares. Me. To. Death!

After a nice stroll under the kitchen table, the kid will go to the toy box.  He'll open it...but, oh no, he won't open it all the way. He prefers to have the lid be resting precariously between the closed position and the completely open position; that-a-way it looks like he is going to hit his head on it once he is done reaching down to retrieve his coveted toy.  Of course while he is doing so, all I can see is him hitting his head & every last stitch popping and blood gushing everywhere!

After play time, it is bath time.  Oh...don't get me started on all the dangers of the bath tub. Man. You have the faucet, the bending-over-and-not-watching-the-side-of-the-tub-as-he-gets-back-up factor. And then...then you have the slippiness of bathtub...don't you see the 10 million possible ways his head could be damaged in the bathroom!?!?  It is enough to raise my blood pressure just thinking about baths!

I am just certain that one of these times I am going to see Owen do something that seems a bit precocious and my heart will stop and fail to resume.

After all, how many more times can I put my heart through this stress?

10 Thoughts of a ICU Mama

1.  It is Freezing and I am Exhausted.

2.  I hate thinking about the coldness and my tiredness when my baby is moaning next to me.  How selfish could I be.  My son is in pain.

3.  Some kiddos in the ICU have their names on the windows to their room with cute little dragons, flowers, and stars.  I am immensely grateful that Owen is a "fast track" ICU baby and doesn't have his name on his window. I pray that neither of my kids' names make it up on an ICU window.

4.  I then feel guilty for my gratefulness. Those poor kids and their families, I have for sure said a prayer for them.

5.  I love morphine.  My once moaning boy becomes a happy camper.
As I see it: Morphine=No Moans=No Pain

6. I miss my baby girl.  She made a point to wake up early to see us off this morning. She had a busy day with her Grandma & and then with her Cousins.  Our family is doing all they can to help us. Thank the Lord for our supporting family.  But I can't wait to get my hands on my cuddlebug. I love her.

                                      

7.  Furthermore I am thankful for one more answered prayer:  Bethany is getting the hang of going #2 on the potty.  She has made great progress the last couple of days *including today w/ Grandma*. With Owen's surgery occurring right when pooping is finally clicking.  This has been a work in progress since the beginning of June. Makes me want to shout WooHoo!; but I won't. Maybe when Owen is not so much enjoying a nice morphine-assisted slumber.

8.  For the first time since lunch, my nervous are under control and I am finally feeling hungry. But at this point do I:  (A) go down and get some food,  (B) try to sleep, (C) continue to watch Hell's Kitchen.  Too bad I can't do all three at once. If only we could bring food into this room. 

9.  Hell's Kitchen is beginning to really irritate me. You are cooking dinner for patrons at your restaurant.  It is not at the end of the world if things are not perfect. There are things in this world that are far worse off than underseasoned parsnips.  Plus, Gordan is completely rude.  His language is horrendous.

10.  I am thankful.  THANKFUL for all the prayers, supports, offer for help w/ Bethany, chats on Facebook.  The support from our family and friends is overwhelming and totally appreciated.