Thursday, August 12, 2010

guilt

Guilt...

What an awful feeling.  But it seems like guilt has taken up residence in my heart right now....

I feel guilty
----for leaving the kids with the sitters.
----that Owen spent all of yesterday crying (with only a few breaks).
----that I only have 2 to 3 hours with kids in the evenings until it is bedtime.
----for feeling like less of a mom because I am away from the babies during the day and then sometimes my mind is occupied with school-issues at night
----for being tired and less patient with people as I am being pulled in various directions
----for being less of a teacher than I could be if I more time and didn't have obligations at home.
----for not being able to spend as much time with the husband as I am torn between work, children and home responsibilities.
----for not taking better care of myself in terms of exercising and eating right.

----for missing moments like this just randomly throughout the day...

 
I know I just need to pray and ask God to help me deal with these guilty feelings. Hopefully, the guilt can be evicted permanently out of my heart...

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