Monday, July 12, 2010

A Crazy Mama Pre-op

So tomorrow is the big day!


Lil' Owen will have his one and only surgery to correct his Craniosynostosis.  Sounds pretty simple, eh? Yea, no so much.  I would swear (although, I typically don't) that his surgery is causing me to think I have MPD (not Miami Police Department...but Multiple Personality Disorder).  Yup. I'd would think there are three lil' Mamas hanging out in this brain of mine. Interested in meeting them all? Okay, but you asked for it!

Meet Mama #1. We'll call her Thelma. Thelma is the smart one. She is the girl that realizes that there will be two well-schooled, well-experienced surgeons working on Owen's head.  You got your pediatric craniofacial plastic surgeon.  Seriously, that is a rather specific specialty & he is the one doing the slicin' and dicin'.   Then you have the "back-up" pediatric neurosurgeon; whose sole purpose is to, "watch out for and protect the brain."  So, when Thelma is thinking about the surgery; she realizes Owen is in the best hands around. After all these guys do this surgery pretty darn often.  Thelma, then, realizes that this is not a required surgery and Owen could go on without this surgery & chances are he will be fine. Finally, Thelma thinks of the tons of other kids out there that are worse off.  Like seriously way worse off than Owen.  Read the seven blogs to the right of this entry in the "Who we are praying for" section.  Some of those kids are still fighting for their lives, some have been healed, and some, yes three of them,  have died. So when Thelma thinks about this surgery...there is this realization that this is small change when compared to some of these people who are absolutely living their worst nightmare.

Because of all of Thelma's deep thoughts about Owen's surgery, Mama #1 is present most of the time. But occasionally  Mama #2 comes out to visit.  She is not the rational one.  I think we can call her Daphne.  See Daphne is the emotional one.   She is the one that looks at her sweet lil' boy & finds it hard that she is going to willingly hand over her perfectly healthy, happy lil' boy to these strangers to sliced and diced.  Then the fear of him being scared or uncomfortable or alone or hurting becomes a little overwhelming.   Seriously.  Owen is totally good now...why should we literally crack open his head?  Makes me scared to think about it.  After all This Is My Baby we are talking about. Yes, Daphne knows there are kids significantly worse off & some kids are fighting for their lives.  But this kid...this kid is MY kid. And that makes the world of a difference.

Thankfully,  oh very thankfully, we have another personality.  Meet Mama #3. I believe Faith is a fitting name for her.  Faith realizes that it Thelma and Daphne are looking at this surgery through some serious corrupted lenses.  Faith reminds me that while all the logics make doesn't matter the degrees the doctors hold, the experience of the staff, or severity of this surgery compared to other peoples'.  See, Faith knows that it isn't really those doctors who are in control.  God is in control.   If you go and pray with an open heart and mind He will lead us through this.  So while Daphne gets upset, Faith is there to nudge her and say, "You are not alone & you never have been or never will be."  God is here.  While it is true that God hurts when I hurt;  I know and I believe that God  heals.  So Faith is in command of these mini-Mamas floating in my head.
And boy, I'll tell ya, I am glad to have her in this noggin of mine.